1 August 2021 – A New Title, Another Beginning

I defended my dissertation on 29 July 2021, and I no have a new title, Dr. Joyce E. Neal. I now have to decide what do I do with my knowledge. Someone recently asked me – “Now that you have your terminal degree, what will you do?” – and I truly could not give an answer. A part of me wants to do absolutely nothing, and another part of me wants to write a book.

For the next 30 days I have removed self from social media, allowing me time to catch up on stuff, cleaning my house, cleaning out the garage, manicuring my lawn, and detailing my car. Over the years I have realized relaxation for me is doing stuff with my hands.

But for now I am going to just rest as I am so very tired. For the past twenty-years I have been the foundation for my family, and carrying that load has been draining. As much as I dearly love my family, I would truly love to have time for “me-time”. Am I resentful that my children, my grandchildren, my great-grandchildren, and my Mom are semi-dependent on me? Yes, but I also realize that if they weren’t, I don’t know if I would be alive. I do not ant my family to suffer or be uncomfortable and I guess I will continue allowing them to be semi-dependent on me.

I know that I am blessed and have much to be thankful for, most importantly having Mama here at 94 years old. She is in a lot of pain, but through her pain it is a blessing to still have her here. I am not sure what I will do next, but for now I will take time to rest and clear my mine.

This is my Thought for the Day.

Why Death?

When I hear that someone that I knew has died, I question why. Someone that I went to high school with died Mother’s Day weekend 2021. I knew Barbara as we lived in the same community. We weren’t close, but we knew each other. Once we graduated high school, out paths crossed a couple of times, but over the years we saw each twice, once at the funeral for her Mother, and the funeral for her Brother. I remember her asking me if any of my siblings had died, since this was the second sibling for her. I told her that my brother and sister were alive and doing well. She told be that I was blessed.

When I heard of her death, via social media, I became numb and felt a terrible sense of loss. She was a few years younger than me. Barbara buried her son back in December 2020 and I wonder if she died of a broken heart. I listened too her brother Richard give her eulogy and I could feel the pain in his voice. In time the pain will pass for me, but for Richard and Edna I just don’t know how they will manage. They have buried their Mother, their sister Debra, their nephew (Debra’s son), their brother, Sammy, their second father SGM Abernathy, and Barbara’s son, Charles.

I know that Death waits for each of us and in time Death is a fate we all will meet.

This is my Thought for the Day.

Mama – 2/22/2021

Well it has been 2 months since we picked up Mama and brought her back to Antioch, and I never knew (because she never told me) how bad her health was. I am having a hard time understanding why she was so dishonest about her health. But only thing I can do is make sure she is comfortable and has fod to eat. She has been in the hospital since Saturday and she is pissed, but until they can get her BP stabilzed and her thyroid under control that is where she will be. As much as I love her, I am just so disappointed that she was so dishonest about her health.
That is my Thought for the Day.

12/31/2020 Day 58 Post Election 2020 – The End to a New Beginning

As I contemplate moving forward, I am forced to look back (just for a minute) too where I have been.  I can honestly say that 2020 took far too long to end.

I went off Facebook on 3 November 2020 because I was so disappointed on the number of votes trump got in his failed reelection bid.  With all that he has “not done” and said, how is it that 74 million plus people voted for him?  I just had to take time away from the comments to process.

January saw the entry of COVID-19, which was not acknowledged in a timely manner and ended up being the most deadly action to America in over 200 years.  The trump administration decided to ignore it (maybe it would go away) and that decision will be his legacy.  Vaccines were fast-tracked and by the end of December the vaccination process started.

February saw the rise in COVID-19 to the point that by March America was beginning to shut down.  Davidson County schools closed the first of March and would not reopen until late Fall, only to close after a few weeks, again due to COVID-19.

April saw our Doctoral program fully online and it was very stressful.  The library closed the middle of April and I gave up writing on my dissertation.  May ended with the death of GJ, a total shock.  Black America, as a whole, won’t take their health seriously and won’t get a yearly examination.  We die, as a whole, far to often and far to young only because we won’t go to the doctor.

June and July were pretty  much normal, just had to get through those online programs.  I had a break from class for a few weeks in August and started back writing on my dissertation.  Not much went on during September, October, but November saw Tracey lie on Tammy, and have a birthday party for GJ and not invite me.  I was really hurt by her actions, but life goes on.  I wiped her out of my life. 

December is ending with Mama finally agreeing to move back to TN, but if her mood does not change, not sure how long she will be here.  She is in extremely poor health, a lot poorer than when I saw her last year at the funeral of Aunt Doll.  I also heard that a very dear friend Claude Mann died, again not going to the doctor.  He had a massive heart attack.  I wonder if he had a feeling something was wrong, but ignored it and he just turned 64 in November.

12/13/2020 Day 40 Post Election 2020 – Still At It

The GOPer’s continue to spew lies, hate, and division in America. The white racist groups are protesting more and more. Their threats to disrupt the swearing in of Joe Biden hopefully are being taken seriously by DOJ and the FBI. When asked they cannot explain votes received down-ballot were legal, but votes for Joe Biden were illegal. The votes were on the same ballot. I am just shocked at the level of hate for non-white America, guess we can add hate to the level of cockroaches, no matter how many you kill, they just keep showing up.

This is my Thought for the Day.

12/9/2020 Day 36 Post Election 2020 – It Is Done!

I finally received approval to submit my IRB application. It took me about an hour, but I got it done. Now I have to upgrade my SurveyMonkey account and start some practice runs. I hope I get enough participants.

The GOP is still acting foolish regarding the loss of #45 in his quest to be reelected. America is destroyed and we will never recover. I am just shocked at the ignorance of People of Color and the racist mindset of white people in 2020. I am so tired of it all.

Well, my life insurance policy was cancelled and now I am going to have to figure out what to do. My house is scheduled to be paid off when I turn 91 and yes I will still be alive. I don’t want to leave the girls with any bills, so I am going to have to try and get this house paid off sooner. I am going to have to find me a parttime job as I need to start paying $1,000 in principle. Guess it is time to start putting in online job applications.

That is my Thought for the Day.

12/7/2020 Day 34 Post Election 2020 – It’s Over

Finished the course with Dr. Brown on Saturday and I felt such a relief. I submitted the final Reflection Paper and the Final exam. Now on to getting Chapter 2 completed. Meeting scheduled for Wednesday with Advisor. I think I am the only one left that has not submitted the IRB application. This dissertation process is not getting any smoother.

It is still politics as usual. There has been some election transition initiated, but the current administration is doing all it can to destroy the overall election process. I am just so disappointed that so many Americans believe the mess. I don’t think America will fully recover from the administration of #45.

This is my Thought for the Day.

12/3/2020 Day 30 Post Election 2020 – Moving Along

Well, my Advisor accepted my consent form and she is suppose to schedule a meeting with my Dissertation committee. If I have not heard back from her by the end of this term, then I will start my IRB application. I just need to finish the group assignment and final exam. I will be so glad when this course is done.

The President-elect transition process is moving forward and #45 is gettting crazier. I just pray we get control of the Senate as I can’t tolerate much more of this nonsense.

One of these days I am going to start blogging on a serious level, but for now it will only have to be a small thought as I have other stuff to focus on for now.

This is my Thought for the Day.