My Brother

It has been 2 months today since my brother died and I still do not feel a sense of loss. I will only assume it was because we had not seen much of each other over the past 20+ years, and there was no interaction between us.

Mama is having her moments. I think she is very depressed due to his death, and now she wants to die. I will always hold to the thought that Bobby was her favorite child.

Not much else to say today.

August Feelings

Well, the campaign ended on a good note as Justin won House District 52. He is taking a break, but I do hope he get back out on the campaign trail as his name is on the November ballot. I do hope that he will be a different kind of politician.

I am still tired and taking care of Mama is starting to show. I am so angry, but for so many different reasons. As I once told my clients, you cannot change the past. But the problem I am having is the past is what is causing my angry. And I never thought taking care of Mama would be so draining. For now, the only thing she can do for self, is feed herself. But that is what happens when you rely on medication to solve your health problems.

On a happy note, I have schedule self for a mini getaway for October. I am going to New Hampshire for a few days. I wish I had the funds to stay a week. Not much else going on in my world. I will just keep moving forward. And the stress of taking care of Mama is causing me to be in a lot of body pain. Gonna figure out a way to relieve the stress.

This is my Thought for the Day.


I am amazed at how politicians can be so dishonest and want the world to revolve around them. The bending of the finance rules has been an issue with certain individuals that assisted Justin in his House District 52 win. How many times did I ask to be informed before any expenses were incurred, and how many times was my request ignored?

In my thinking, if a person wants to be reimbursed immediately, then that person should have never incurred the expense. Vivian W. knew I could not reimburse her directly and she still did a charge on her card to Home Depot. I had even told Anthony B. whenever he needed anything from for Home Depot for the campaign to call me. And it took Vivian a little over two weeks to bring me the receipt from Home Depot. I mailed her check on 8/3/2022 and on 8/9/2022 she is texting me that there is no check in the mail as if I lied. I will give it until Saturday and if the check has not been received by then I will cancel the initial check and issue her a new check.

My goal is to never work with Vivian W. again in any capacity. She is arrogant, demanding, and in her mind, she is the only one who can be right about anything. Yes, she has a solid base and Justin expressed more than one he truly appreciated all she did for him. But I am thinking, that is not enough for Vivian. Vivian has a draining personality, and anyone who comes in contact with her will leave wilted.

That is My Thought for the Day

July 22, 2002 – Where Have I Been?

I can’t recall when my last post was, but not much has happened. Mama is still here, complaining daily about a pain somewhere on her body. I believe she is still mourning Bobby’s death, which was six months ago. She will never believe how selfish and inconsiderate he was. I still have not gone through any of the steps to death and dying, and I don’t know if I ever will. I cannot get past the Will he had Mama sign, leaving me and Kitty $1.00 each from her estate. Had Mama died first, Bobby would have gotten the house. And I am sure he would have sold it and wasted the money on more stuff he did not need. Bobby dies broke. I am just glad that his so-called son paid for the cremation. What is left of the Bell Family Clan are no longer in touch relatives. The glue that held us together died when Aunt Doll was buried.

We are once again in an election period. And since the Supreme Court overturned Roe-v-Wade there have been daily protests. I only hope those protestors actually vote, and vote Democrat. So many of these protestors did not vote for Hillary in 2016, and she did tell them if Trump gets elected, Roe-v-Wade will be gone. Now they are mad, because she was right on so many issues. But time will tell if the protestors voted for self-interest and not against self-interest.

And I finally hit my fat limit, so going forward I will slowly be removing bread from my food intake list. And I will start back making fruit water.

Well, this is My Thought For The Day

Another Day in April

Well, today is April 8th and I am 29 days from receiving my Doctoral hood. Yes, it took me longer than I wanted, but I made it. Over the years I missed a lot of opportunities for leadership positions, but I can’t live in the past. I have some good years left and I need to make the best of them.

This started off with the death of Bobby, and the mess with Marcus, but that is all in the past. I still don’t feel a void from Bobby’s death, guess it’s because he was not as invested in our family as I was. I am sorry that he died alone, but most people do, even if the family is around.

Oh well, got assignments to grade.

First Post for 2022

Bobby died on January 15th and it has been a downhill ride with Mark. He has filed complaints with Adult Protective Services, filed a stolen car report, filed a home insurance theft claim, and had some attorney send me a letter demanding that I return things that I took out of Mama’s house. I hope he has covered all avenues as to where he can file a false claim as I am tired of talking.

Mama was found to be COVID positive and was hospitalized in early March. The recommendation is to transfer her to a skilled nursing facility, which Michelle is opposed to.

I am on my second term with SNHU and will receive my Doctoral hood in May. I really need to be a regular on this site, but I forget it is there.

This is my Thought for the Day.

Good-bye 2021 (December 31st)

Well, another year has come to an end, and I am still breathing. From a personal perspective I am feeling very good about self. I completed my Ed.D. program and received my Trevecca transcript this past September. I applied at several colleges and universities, some turned me down, some interviewed me, and two hired me. I also made the decision to run for school board. Yea, if elected I will serve only one term as I am too old to be out and about. And if I lose, well I will have lost nothing.

Family wise – Alex totaled out the car on 11 December, but at least I got $5,000 in the process. I will help Ambria get a car when she is ready. Mama has gone down deep into the depression hole, not sure how long she is going to allow herself to breath. Bobby has hit rock bottom and he never gave me the information I need to close out his estate. He is currently in the hospital; doctor ordered an ambulance to pick him up. I will be flying up there next Tuesday and it is going to be cold. Everybody else is doing okay.

Yes, we are still under the COVID watch, but I am vaccinated and will get the booster when it is time. So far, we have been blessed too not have gotten sick. I now am a double-mask person because I cannot wear the N-95 mask. And I limit contact with large groups.

I am thankful that God allowed me to get through another year and grateful in allowing me to see a New Year. As we never know what tomorrow holds, I am going on the assumption that it holds for me an abundance of wealth, financially and spiritually. I am happy and I am looking forward to 2022. I guess this is it until next year!!

2 September 2021 – Legal Abortion No Longer in Texas

Roe-v-Wade was finalized in 1973, prior to that the ONLY individuals that could get a “legal abortion” were financial stable white females as they had their doctors admit them into the hospital for dilatation & curettage (D&C) surgery or take the only birth control pill available at the time, Ortho-Novum. The rest of American women had to rely on “that person” with the knitting needles or coat hangers.

Fast forward to 2021 and TX has now enacted a law that restricts abortion & allows no consideration for rape, incest, or being mentally challenged. I have yet to hear from a “conservative Christian” how a fetus conceived via rape, incest or one being mentally challenged is a blessing. Now to my understanding if a female presents to any medical establishment & informs she has been raped the morning-after pill is given immediately, but there is no morning-after pill when conception is due to incest or to the mentally challenged. I do not have a logical understanding of how the “conservative Christian” believes it is okay for a child as young as 8 years old to give birth to a baby or a mentally challenged female to understand the changes in her body. And yes, an 8-year-old can get pregnant.

Now being fair to the “conservative Christian” anyone getting pregnant in 2021 is doing so because she wants a child or she believes “this man” will marry her. There are more than enough birth control methods on the market in 2021 & there is no logical explanation as to why a female is pregnant in 2021. Again, aside from rape, incest, or being mentally challenged, there is no logical explanation for unwanted pregnancy in 2021.

1 August 2021 – A New Title, Another Beginning

I defended my dissertation on 29 July 2021, and I no have a new title, Dr. Joyce E. Neal. I now have to decide what do I do with my knowledge. Someone recently asked me – “Now that you have your terminal degree, what will you do?” – and I truly could not give an answer. A part of me wants to do absolutely nothing, and another part of me wants to write a book.

For the next 30 days I have removed self from social media, allowing me time to catch up on stuff, cleaning my house, cleaning out the garage, manicuring my lawn, and detailing my car. Over the years I have realized relaxation for me is doing stuff with my hands.

But for now I am going to just rest as I am so very tired. For the past twenty-years I have been the foundation for my family, and carrying that load has been draining. As much as I dearly love my family, I would truly love to have time for “me-time”. Am I resentful that my children, my grandchildren, my great-grandchildren, and my Mom are semi-dependent on me? Yes, but I also realize that if they weren’t, I don’t know if I would be alive. I do not ant my family to suffer or be uncomfortable and I guess I will continue allowing them to be semi-dependent on me.

I know that I am blessed and have much to be thankful for, most importantly having Mama here at 94 years old. She is in a lot of pain, but through her pain it is a blessing to still have her here. I am not sure what I will do next, but for now I will take time to rest and clear my mine.

This is my Thought for the Day.

Why Death?

When I hear that someone that I knew has died, I question why. Someone that I went to high school with died Mother’s Day weekend 2021. I knew Barbara as we lived in the same community. We weren’t close, but we knew each other. Once we graduated high school, out paths crossed a couple of times, but over the years we saw each twice, once at the funeral for her Mother, and the funeral for her Brother. I remember her asking me if any of my siblings had died, since this was the second sibling for her. I told her that my brother and sister were alive and doing well. She told be that I was blessed.

When I heard of her death, via social media, I became numb and felt a terrible sense of loss. She was a few years younger than me. Barbara buried her son back in December 2020 and I wonder if she died of a broken heart. I listened too her brother Richard give her eulogy and I could feel the pain in his voice. In time the pain will pass for me, but for Richard and Edna I just don’t know how they will manage. They have buried their Mother, their sister Debra, their nephew (Debra’s son), their brother, Sammy, their second father SGM Abernathy, and Barbara’s son, Charles.

I know that Death waits for each of us and in time Death is a fate we all will meet.

This is my Thought for the Day.